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A few weeks ago, my wife was debating whether to spend money on something. I forget what it was. I said to Mrs. Living Rich Cheaply, “You can’t afford everything. But you can afford anything,” quoting the wise words of Paula Pant, who blogs at Afford Anything. The basic premise is that you can afford anything that you want, but you have to prioritize what it is that is truly important to you, and cut out the expenses which aren’t that important. My wife, fortunately is a frugal person like me, but she responded by saying, “that’s a good point, so why does your blog’s tagline say that ‘you can have your cake and eat it too?”
Mrs. Living Rich Cheaply makes a good point. So now after starting this blog over a year and a half ago, let me finally explain how the title of my blog “Living Rich Cheaply” and the tagline “Have your cake and eat it too!” came about. Years ago I saw a book that included tips to live “twice as well on the same income” and I thought to myself that I had to have it. I loved the idea that you could in effect live “the good life,” but not have to spend as much doing so.
When I first started blogging, I wanted to share tips on how to optimize spending and methods to save money by writing about credit card cash back and bonuses, shopping portals, discounted gift cards, getting great deals at different stores, stacking coupons, travel hacking, finding hidden gems at thrift shops, buying refurbished items. I also wanted to encourage people to get deals by being patient and to seek quality versus brand names to uphold an image. You don’t have to spend a lot to look great and to have great experiences. You can be frugal and fabulous. When most people hear the word “frugal,” they immediately associate it with deprivation and sacrifice. I don’t think that is the case. Being frugal doesn’t mean that you’ll dress like a bum or that you won’t get to experience things that others get to experience. You can live a happy, fun and fulfilling life while following the tenets of frugality. To steal a phrase coined by another wise blogger, Shannon from Financially Blonde, you can be fancy frugal !
My post Changing Your Money Mindset captures the essence of what I think this blog is about. I wrote that I drive a car with all the latest safety features, that is comfortable, reliable, and attractive (in my opinion). It’s a Hyundai Sonata which I bought used a few years ago. Sure, it may not have all the bells and whistles of a luxury sedan or the acceleration capability of a sports car, but it gets me to where I want to go safely and reliably. What else do you really need? I wrote that we do sometimes go out to eat at restaurants, but it’s not going to be an expensive Michelin restaurant with fancy décor and plating. I also use Groupon and Restaurant.com certificates to get discounts while eating out. In addition, I have found the joy of cooking and eating at home, which I definitely feel is not only lighter on my wallet but much healthier. Instead of going out to the movie theater or going to bars with our friends, we’d prefer to watch Netflix in the comforts of home and to entertain friends at our home or go to their homes. So no, we are not depriving ourselves nor are we making big sacrifices. We are not living cheaply. Instead, we’re living rich cheaply.
While part of living rich cheaply is the ability to have the things that the “Joneses” have, but not to spend as much, I think a big part of living rich cheaply is to not chase after the “Joneses” in the first place. For many of us, it is a race to see who can accumulate the most and the coolest toys. But, sometimes less is more. And sometimes, the best things in life are free. I know it sounds kind of cheesy, but it really is true. Think of the things that you care about most. For me, it’s spending quality time with my close friends and family members. Most of the things that make us happy don’t cost a lot. Remember that the next time you’re trying to keep up with the Joneses. Of course, I am human and do deal with envy at times. But I just remind myself of all the good things in my life. My definition of a “rich life” is no longer one filled with expensive consumer goods or fancy clothes to flaunt my wealth. A rich life doesn’t have to be an expensive life. I truly have all that I need, and I could not ask for more. I can have my cake and eat it too! Because what good is cake if you can’t eat it?
Great post Andrew and so funny that you are explaining your blog title when I knew what you were getting at all along. It’s true, you can have your cake and eat it too, it just shouldn’t be a wedding cake. As someone who used to think that frugal meant cheap, I am definitely reformed and a believer in the frugal fancy of life!
Shannon @ Financially Blonde recently posted…Music Mondays – Shake It Off
Thanks Shannon! Wedding cake is expensive…actually everything that is associated to weddings are marked up! =)
Great post! I think learning to live on less, helps you appreciate more!
Melanie @ Dear Debt recently posted…Are You Ready to #DumpDebt?
Yea, me too. Before I used to think living on less was something temporary while saving, but now I don’t really always want more.
I agree completely Andrew, and that goes double for the prioritization part. We find that goal setting really helps. When we were engaged 3 or 4 years ago, my wife and I decided that we needed to live on one income when starting our family. She wanted to stay home for 5 years, which is fine with me. It’s incredible how much easier it was to not buy/do certain things, once we set that goal. My wife, who wasn’t the least bit frugal when we got married, became very thrifty once she knew we were working towards her staying home with the kiddos. We achieved that goal because we were both going for the same thing……and because we could both visualize what we wanted.
I’m glad you and Mrs LRC are prioritizing…..it’s incredible what you can afford when you’re intentional with your spending!
-Bryan
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Glad your wife is onboard with the plan…it definitely helps when you have a common goal.
As usual, I completely agree with you, Andrew. So much of it is indeed changing the mindset. You have nice stuff. NIcer than most people, I’m sure. But you’re not always chasing after more, more more, and instead, are happy with what you have. One can indeed have their cake and eat it too, but it does take some choices.
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Yea you can have your cake and eat it if that cake is not expensive fancy wedding cake =)
Great post! Last week I went to a holiday stroll in a downtown area that is upscale, so it was full of kitschy things. Stuff that if you filled your house with it you would look like Martha Stewart or have your own HGTV show. I remember when I lived in Seattle years ago I would buy that kind of stuff all the time because it felt very grown up of me. But as I was looking around (I was only there for the free wine yo) I just thought, would any of this stuff bring my quality to my life? Would I have more friends? Look more fabulous? If I have friends who didn’t come over to my house because I didn’t have the “best stuff,” then those are not friends I want to have. It was a big part of me maturing financially.
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Thanks Tonya. I know what you mean living in NYC. I remember when I would feel the need to buy a whole bunch of stuff which I really didn’t need nor would it bring up my quality of life. It would probably be something I’d use a few times and throw in the closet. What a waste. It really is important to have similar minded friends though, otherwise there would be peer pressure to spend on stuff like that.
I love Paula’s tagline, and I always thought yours was appropriate, too. I think those of us “living rich cheaply” innately knew what you meant! I definitely agree with you here. This year has been a year of prioritizing for us, and I think it has paid off.
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I found Paula’s blog not too long ago and really love it. Many outsiders may think it’s living cheap cheaply but I really think most middle class Americans can live rich cheaply.
I’ve found that there are very few “hard’ choices that we personal finance bloggers have to face re: money. We don’t have to choose between having the cake or eating it. We just bake two. Like you said, it’s not really about deprivation or anything: we find luxury in the frugality.
Ironically, it’s those still on the consumer treadmill who have the really hard choices.
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Haha…baking 2 cakes! You’re absolutely right about those on the consumer treadmill having the tough choices.
This is why I don’t set multiple goals, we only have one. When that becomes your most important goal you’ll more likely to figure it out. How is your new place
It’s great…more space. Thanks for asking. I’d really like to buy a 2-family house in the future though…and rental property (in an area which cash flows). How’s everything with you?
Love this! You’ve perfectly articulated the awesomeness that is intentional, frugal living. This is exactly how I feel and I’m all about the frugal & fancy. I don’t feel deprived by not spending money–I feel fulfilled and free (not to mention confident since I don’t have to worry about money!). Thank you for this!
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Thanks! Intentional frugal living. I like that. It is a great burden lifted when you don’t stress about money.
Love this, Andrew! I fully agree a “rich” life doesn’t not have to be an expensive one or full of stuff. A rich life to me is being intentional with how I use my money and spending it on the things that matter most, just as it is for you. We unfortunately live in a world where many people confuse having things as the key to happiness because that’s what we see on TV, etc. And feel the need to always compare – to me that is one of the greatest problems. We need others tacit approval that our priorities are good.
Shannon @ The Heavy Purse recently posted…5 Holiday’s Do’s that Put You on the Nice List
You’re absolutely right. Too many aren’t “intentional” with their money and fritter it away because they think buying things will bring happiness. And yes, too often we compare ourselves with others and try to compete by buying more and more things.
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I agree with all the words you are saying and the lifestyle. Living life on your terms is not an expensive endeavor, as you can pick and choose what to splurge on. The problem is that many people can’t associate this thinking if they are not ready to live that life. They are on the other side of the spectrum, and see frugalites as deprived, they only thing on their minds is how many happy hours to attend. Maybe one day they can cross over where the grass is greener and wealth is growing.
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I’m with you. I’m hoping more people can cross over to this side of the grass. The grass really is greener on this side…I promise!
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I am just simple and find happiness even in small things. Spending time with family makes me simply happy and having not that expensive or luxurious activities with them is fine with me as long as we’re enjoying and having quality time with them. Not all things should be more all the time, less is most of the time good also.
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It’s great when you find happiness in the small things. It shouldn’t and it doesn’t always cost a lot to find happiness.
I like how you focus on adjusting your mindset… deciding what “living rich” actually looks like to me and working toward that is important.
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Thanks. I really think adjusting your mindset is one of the most important…but yet most difficult thing that we can do.
You’re absolutely right on! “Frugal” doesn’t mean cheap and living on sacrifice. It’s all about balance and finding things that you truly enjoy. Buying things don’t bring happiness in your life, if it does, it’s really short lived. What’s important is finding things that you can do (instead of buying) that would bring joy in your life. Being frugal is great but sometimes it’s ok to splurge and have a little bit of fun too. If you don’t have some fun from time to time, frugality will worn down on you very quickly.
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Yep, I hate it when “cheap” and “frugal” are used interchangeably! You’re right about having balance in life. It’s fine to splurge and spend money for things that are important to you and will TRULY bring you happiness.
“My definition of a “rich life” is no longer one filled with expensive consumer goods or fancy clothes to flaunt my wealth. A rich life doesn’t have to be an expensive life.” This is a really great quote, something to remember. I think you have an awesome outlook on personal finance and I strive to have that mindset more often. I definitely do not have it 100% of the time, but I have spent some time putting into practice some of those “fancy frugal” tactics.
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Thanks! I’m not sure I have that mindset 100% of the time…but the older I get the more I realize the truth in that statement. Yes, fancy frugal is awesome!
I’ve always believed in having my cake and eating it too. For example, I had never known about travel hacking before I started blogging. But I decided to try it In 2014- I flew to Europe in March for $25, I flew to New Orleans roundtrip for $11, and I’m flying to Denver roundtrip for $75, all because of CC’s. THAT’s the living rich cheaply I’m all about!
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Travel hacking is awesome! I wish I could travel more.
I totally agree with this post. It is not necessary to buy a cake from outside and spend so much of money. The best idea is to bake a cake in our home and enjoy eating while watching TV.
Great analogy! =) Baking a cake at home and enjoying eat while watching TV in the comfort of home is an awesome idea!
Its very satisfying to gain from the efforts you have out to help other people. Its a win win. It only needs one to have an one mind and accommodate new ideas.
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Hi Andrew!
Nice post, and yes I think most people would get the tagline without much explanation but it was good to hear it from the horses mouth nonetheless!
To me it never meant you can just buy everything, it meant you can live the good life on (a lot) less than most people do.
People who have everything or can buy everything are not automatically happy anyway (plenty of evidence that the correlation is negative in fact), so this is definitely not something to strive for, or in terms of the tagline:
!f you eat all the cake you will just get fat, miserable and die before your time anyway
Happy Christmas!!! 🙂
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Thanks! Yea, it’s pretty self-explanatory. But too many people still think that living frugally means you’re living a deprived life.
I think that you have hit the nail on the head. Once you effectively don’t give two craps about the Jones’, who they are, what they are doing and the “stuff” that they have, life almost immediately becomes much, much more simple. Saving gets easier and spending on those useless luxury and convenience items begins to subside. It’s a very tough thing to get through most people’s minds, but once there, it will change your life entirely.
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Yea, life definitely becomes simpler when you’re not comparing yourself to the Joneses. It isn’t easy to change that mindset, but it is life changing.
Spending money (or not) is a choice. Some people make bad choices (and can’t stop spending) while others consider the value of what they’re buying… and whether the money to pay for it is worth the time it took to earn. I think a lot of us would be more successful if we were happy with what we have, rather than always trying to get what someone else has. There will always be someone with more.
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Absolutely, there will always be people with more stuff and more money. But I don’t need more stuff and more money to be happier.
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Love this post so much as I agree whole-heartedly! I 100% believe the best things in life are free (especially spending quality time with loved ones), and not keeping up with the Joneses has been one of the most liberating and empowering mindsets to have in my opinion. Great post, Andrew! Hope you had a wonderful holiday season and best wishes for you and your family in 2015! 🙂
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Thanks Anna! Best wishes for you and your family (especially the highly anticipated of the new arrival) in 2015.
Great post. I wrote something similar in a recent post, about how much I actually need to be happy. I think it’s very important to decide what it is exactly that you want from life. So many don’t do that. And then you fall into the trap of keeping up with the Joneses, because you simply didn’t bother to think what would actually make you happy. For me, that’s traveling with my spouse and hopefully future kids, and most importantly, having financial freedom. The big house and expensive cars won’t make me any happier.
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Good point…it seems that many try to keep up with the Joneses because they think that that is the key to happiness since the media seems to suggest that it is. They never really think about what would truly bring happiness.
I put a price on my happiness! It’s $70,000 🙂 I think if I made that semi-passively, I’d be extremely happy.
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I love the tagline!
In our own way my wife and I made a very thoughtful decision to live rich cheaply by moving an hour out of the famous OC. By moving inland we were able to save about $300,000 on a house and after everything was said and done our cash flow improved by $1,500/month (before tax advantage of owning vs. renting). The biggest savings was from not renting at $3,000/month and paying a much smaller mortgage at $2,215/month.
We actually increased our standard of living by moving and buying below our means. There are lots of choices that can be made to live rich cheaply.
Cheers!
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Thanks! Wow, $300,000 is a huge savings! Increased standard of living and a huge savings…you can’t beat that!
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Living rich to me is being happy with nothing, it is being happy waking up to the person you love next to you. Being woken up by 3 children. Going to a job where you know you save lives. Having financial security. Being able to spend more but understanding what is stupid and what is not.Living rich is being able to look at yourself proud.
Great comment! And it’s wonderful that you are passionate about your job and that it SAVES lives!
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