credit: freedigitalphotos.net by Stuart Miles
When I was a little boy, I loved dinosaurs. What little boy doesn’t? My mom bought me a dinosaur book which included a pack of dinosaur stickers. There were 4 sheets of stickers with 6 stickers on each sheet. If you follow my blog, you know that I had a saving mindset even as a young child. I knew I only had 24 stickers and that there would be no more when they were gone, so I was very deliberate with how I used those stickers. I didn’t want to run out of them in the future when I may want to use them. I mean there were 24 stickers but only 4 Triceratops stickers which was my favorite dinosaur. I would use the stickers on a birthday card to my best friend, put it on my looseleaf that I used for the school year, but I wouldn’t willy nilly put the stickers on JUST ANYTHING. Fast forward many years later while cleaning out my stuff as an adult, I found that I still had 2 sheets of dinosaur stickers with 2 Triceratops stickers.
Having a saving mindset and planning for the future has served me well for the most part financially. I’m not someone who needs instant gratification nor do I generally succumb to impulse purchases. But there are pitfalls to this mindset too. I clearly didn’t get to enjoy my stickers! To use an example that best illustrates how I always think ahead and often not live in the moment, let me tell you about my visit to the aquarium with my little one a few weeks ago.
We arrived at the aquarium around 2:00 p.m, and it closes at 5:00 p.m. My little one is not even two so trips need to take into account his napping schedule or you risk a meltdown. The tickets to the aquarium were $25 each, though I got it for half off using Groupon. But nevertheless, it was rather expensive and I wanted to get my money’s worth. After arriving at the aquarium, my son was mesmerized by a fish tank. “Whoa!” my son exclaimed as he excitedly pointed at the fish. Instead of enjoying the moment seeing my son’s excitement, I was intently looking at the aquarium map and events schedule.
I looked at the Penguin, Hippo and Stingray feeding schedule and tried to devise the best and most efficient route to take to see them all and calculated how much time we should stay at the exhibit so that we wouldn’t miss anything. Rather than trying to rush around the aquarium looking at everything, I probably would have been better off actually watching the fish and living in the moment like my little one was doing.
I am one who worries about the future, even if I already have a plan of action. Not only do I worry about the future, I admittedly am someone who also dwells too much on past mistakes, even if it is a small one. Instead I should just shake it off and move on with my life and chalk it up as a learning experience. While I don’t believe in the FOMO and YOLO philosophy where you ONLY live in the present and not worry about the future, there has to be some balance.
Too often, I find myself going through the motions of life and drudgery of work, thinking in my mind “another day another dollar.” I need to appreciate each day and the experiences that every unique day brings. I need to trust in my plan, and stop worrying about the future, especially things that I cannot control. I need to forgive and forget the past mistakes that I’ve made, and use them as learning experiences.
It is good to reminisce about the past, great to plan and dream about the future, but always remember to live in the present.
Are you the type of person who constantly dwells on the past or always daydreams about the future?
I’m a 70% future-thinker with 20% past-thinking and rare-but-awesome-when-it-happens 10% present-oriented days. A lot of my hope is creating a future for myself where I don’t have to future-think, but rather can just enjoy the moment because I’m not worrying about things like work obligations and money.
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Yea, I’m with you on that. I’d like to create a future where I don’t have to worry about my future!
I’m learning. What’s the point to saving 70% of my salary if I don’t get to enjoy things? So I can MAYBE retire one day. There’s a balance, and it is quite the act to find it. I saved to much, last year I spent to much and now I am trying to go through another iteration. Until next year […]
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It’s always about balance. Of course that’s easier said than done. And wow…to the saving 70%!
Good point! I don’t really live in the past but I’m constantly daydreaming about the future. I DO, however, practice gratitude and that keeps me in check, especially with spending. But like you I often think of my schedule and getting things done and productivity constantly. And sometimes it’s good to just take a step back and breathe and appreciate the moment.
Tonya@Budget and the Beach recently posted…One Job I Would Never Want
Great that you don’t dwell on the past…I both daydream about the future and dwell on the past.
Indeed! We have to learn how to enjoy our lives too. I could probably save more money than I am saving at the moment, but that would take away some of my fun. I want to save and not work forever, but I also want to have fun now, because I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.
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This seems to be more of an issue for pf bloggers, as the majority of people spend too much time living in the present and not saving/planning for the future!
I am actually someone who typically always worries about the future and a good friend recently reminded me that I should be thankful I have everything I need in the present. I actually spent the last two weeks really embracing my present and learning to let some of my fears go. I know they will continue to creep back, but when they do, I honestly hear my friend’s voice in my head and it helps to combat those fears.
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That’s a great reminder…I need to remind myself of that more often as well.
My father was the one who taught me to treat money as gift, even though it was something that he, at times, struggled to do himself. He wouldn’t always allow himself to enjoy his money. And I think it’s so important to find that balance, as you mentioned, you can’t live in the past or only look towards the future. You do have to live in the moment and appreciate what you have now or what is in front of you. I am guilty of putting too much on my plate so my attention is distracted, but I am getting better at enjoying the moment.
Shannon @ The Heavy Purse recently posted…The #1 Culprit Behind Your Goal Failures
Yea, I think I have that problem as well…not allowing myself to enjoy my money! It definitely is important to find balance…I need to work on it.
I’m trying to live more in the present. Not thinking too much about the future helps reducing stress level. This is something I’ve been doing more and more for work. 🙂
Tawcan recently posted…Recent buys
I think if you have a good plan in place than there really is no reason to stress and fear about the future.
OH my gosh, I can SO identify with this, Andrew. Too often I worry much more about our “to do” list, even our day out to do list, instead of simply enjoying the moment. Kids are such a great example for us, aren’t they? They really know how to live right. 🙂
Laurie @thefrugalfarmer recently posted…4 Debt Payoff Mistakes We Made Last Year
I know, it really is amazing to experience life through the eyes of a little child!
I really struggle with living in the moment. I’m always thinking of what I need to crank out on my to do list next, what I can do next month, next year, etc. Always planning ahead! It’s something I need to work on this year.
DC @ Young Adult Money recently posted…8 Ways to Start Investing
Live in the present, but remember the goal of FI. Life is geared towards a 30-40 year schedule, to break that schedule you have to have a focused approach. You can sleep when you die, you can work now, or work later.
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Remembering to appreciate the now is certainly an art form. One I struggle with like so many others. Having kids puts into perspective too. I don’t want to look back and wonder what I did with the time we had together, at any age. Thanks for the reminder!
Mrs. Maroon recently posted…The Master Plan Revisited
Having kids definitely puts things into perspective! You quickly figure out what your priorities truly lie.
Very true! Focusing on the present is very advantageous, less stress… I think people need to learn how to live at this moment because most of us are so affected by the part as well as the future. Living for today is something we need to work on daily.
Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank recently posted…Goal Setting – What are you waiting for?
I need to remind myself daily too.
I actually had a similar experience with my son at the aquarium. He was in love with these little tubes of water (which didn’t even have any fish in them), but just seeing him so full of joy made everything worth it. All the scrimping, saving and stressing just melt away when I see him like that. That’s something I hope to remember throughout his growing years. Thanks for the reminder.
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Haha, yea little kids are excited by the darndest things. I’m sure my son would have been just as excited looking at fish in a fish tank at the pet store. Seeing their excitement and amazement really is a wonderful feeling.
I can relate to this on too many levels Andrew! My wife and I have regular discussions about this actually because I can really struggle with enjoying the moment. I know I was that way as a kid and really intensified when I was paying off debt – to the point where I’d tell myself that I couldn’t enjoy the moment. That said, I’m learning to pursue balance while also realizing you can enjoy things in the moment without sacrificing what you’re building towards.
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I’m with you John…I would tell myself that I couldn’t enjoy the moment. That my time to enjoy would be in the future…but that’s no way to live life. You’ve got to enjoy life now as well as in the future. As you said…just don’t sacrifice what you’re building towards by living above your means and chasing the Joneses to enjoy the moment.
I just lost out on a free gift card, because I was saving it for something bigger and better. I learned my lesson, and I will enjoy the present more. I like the message you say, live for today and trust the plan you have will work in the end. Good post Andrew. I take my kids to see fish all the time, as a local business has a massive cafeteria with a huge salt water fish tank. It even has a lobster in the tank.
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That sucks…sorry to hear that. I hate when that happens so I try to put a reminder on my phone so I remember to use it! I definitely think that if you have a solid plan, you just gotta trust it and follow through…and stop stressing. Oh and my son loves looking at the fish at a local restaurant too.
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You made me laugh so hard! I did the same thing with girlie stickers! 30 years later I still had some because I was afraid to use them unwisely! Talk about stupid! I’ve really changed my mind set and now try to enjoy what I have and not keep things for later. I do focus on the future quite a bit but I realized that I have to use my things (use the nice plates every day, not once a year!) and enjoy what I have now. I no longer wait to use gift cards or nice little notebooks. I may not be there tomorrow, it would be a shame to not have used what I own!
Haha, it’s good to know I’m not the only one who did that! I’m still trying to work on changing my mindset. I think as long as you have a solid plan in place…there’s no need to stress over the future, especially things out of your control. And as for the “nice plates”…actually I was thinking a long those lines too but didn’t couldn’t really incorporate that in the post. What’s the point of using nice plates only once a year…what are you saving it for? Kinda reminds me of people who keep plastic on furniture so it won’t get ruined…but sitting on plastic is not comfortable!
Great Mantra to start off the New Year! It’s a difficult balance to have but we all need to work on this more I think.
Raquel @Practical Cents recently posted…How I Cut $10k in Spending in 2014: Year End Progress Report
Thanks! I should make it my New Year’s resolution.
I pretty much spend all my time worrying about the future. So much that I’ve made decisions in the past based on the future and probably weren’t the best decisions. I wish I could just relax and enjoy the present more, but it’s a hangup I live with.
Yea, I think it’s natural to worry about the future. But if you have a good plan in place and you’re taking steps towards your goals then hopefully you won’t have to worry as much. It’s especially pointless to worry about things that are out of your control, but that still happens to me too. I’m trying to work on it because all that worrying and stress is really unproductive and often unnecessary.
I don’t tend to dwell on the past but I’m always constantly worrying about the future. It’d definitely hard to enjoy the present, especially when it comes to money. I tend to make myself feel bad for the stupidest things, like “oh you could’ve saved that $4 instead of buying a coffee” and I think that has a lot to do with how I grew up since we were such savers. I’m always trying to learn to be more in the present but it’s a struggle!
Haha, I’m the same way! No point beating yourself up over “sunk costs” and ultimately it’s only $4 and you’re not leaking money all the time.
I used to LOVE stickers! I think I still do…hahha. I had a huge sticker collection. Each page of my book was dedicated to a certain type of sticker. Ie one page was a fuzzy sticker page, another page was a scratch n sniff sticker pager (those were my favourite!)
While I tend dwell on the past regarding a couple of things (my job hopping for a couple of years and my major in university and how it wasn’t a lucrative career path), I think I’m more of a worrier for the future. This is probably due to not having a steady job and not having a lot of money in the past. I try and plan as much as I can, but as we all know, nobody can predict the future.
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Yea, I liked the scratch n sniff stickers. I think I found some of those too when I was cleaning out my stuff. Of course, after so many years…it doesn’t really smell anymore. It’s definitely understandable to worry about the future. It’s human nature. You’re right that nobody can predict the future so it probably doesn’t make sense to worry about the things that are out of our control. As long as you planned as much as you can…there’s not much you can do.
The dinosaur sticker story is a great one. If you were the kid who used all of them up in 20 seconds, you probably wouldn’t be writing this blog today.
I spend too much time in the past, but I think I also spend too much time in the future. I’m constantly thinking about how much money I need to have at this or that age. Like you say, I need to enjoy the here and now.
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Thanks Mr. 1500! I know you’re a big dinosaur fan!
I would be trying to rush through the aquarium and “do all the things” as well. When I tell my spouse, “we have to accept that we won’t see everything when we go on a trip” …it is mostly reminding myself, out loud, that we can’t do everything and take it all in. It’s so hard for things like trips (or museum admissions) when you likely won’t be spending the money to go back to that country or area any time soon.
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Yea it’s hard to accept that you won’t be able to see EVERYTHING…especially when you probably won’t be back anytime soon.
I love how self reflective this article is. You know that you have a tendency to not live in the moment and to instead make sure everything comes out just right. The first step is making sure you know you do that, and then you can continue to work on how to make it better. Love it.
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Thanks!
Great post and so relevant to me. I’m constantly thinking about the future. What can I do next, how can I improve this project, why can’t I reach that goal. It’s definitely poisonous because I should focus more on being thankful for my current situation. There is always something bigger and better to be had, but it’s so difficult to find the right balance.
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Thanks Jacob! I think many of us in the pf community have similar personalities. I’m always trying to find that balance…it’s pretty elusive at times.
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I am guilty of living in the future. I have my notes app in my phone full of plans I make almost daily, I write down plans for the future on every piece of paper I can find, and constantly look online for inspiration 🙂 I do realize that it’ll never be the future, we can only live in the present, and I often feel guilty that I might not enjoy the present as much as I enjoy the possibilities of the future. I am afraid I’m missing out. But I am so lucky to have a wonderful spouse who balances me and makes me enjoy the present, and so we travel, splurge a little, bought a new car and a nice enough house together. If it was just me, I’d live in a minimalist way, dress like a bum and drive my old, beat up car. I think balance is the key.
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Same with me…my wife balances me out!
There is this really great video directed at children to teach them about delayed gratification , I love your blog and the video is quite funny. It teaches kids using the cookie monster and cookies as an example.
Thanks for the compliment, it is truly appreciated and thanks for linking to the video. I’ll have to check it out later. I’ve read that children who have the ability to delay gratification are more successful in the future. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment
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